lols. y bring up all the problem when u are the one stalking me since long ago ? seriously. stop being so fake and get a life. i jus dont get it. fk off from my life. you are nth better. _|_
after so long not posting. i think i need to start posting again. this is so bored. i started to feel the boredness in school. isit due to deardear? that i feel drifted away from my clique of friends. 
i miss all the fun, all the journey back home together.many tears and anger has vent out this few month.
mood isnt right at all, is jus messed up. i come by some childish ppl telling other ppl that they are childish or telling ppl that they themself are matured. well, is still different. i find all these dumb nonsense.
now having bad headache, troubling about financial,health,studies and happiness. trying to do some sales and make things work out nicely. but is nv easy uh. need lots of support. i didnt really support my husband on his work, as i too tired of doing anything . sorry
hope and pray hard that everything goes well and smoothly.
loves huihui
huilovesjie <3
im happy who am i now. i got everything back to track. thou i have a tought life now but it will all counts in the future. husband, son, studies, work. WOHOO!! i love them all. working in helipad really lights up my life. seeing everyone getting drunk ! getting high!! so much fun. thks dear for everything. u are my firm supporting pillar. i love u. i will never leave u !! hehes <3 <3 ai ni oh
- hUiX2
loves hubby <3
ai ni o
feeling bad. wanna blog it out. but im out of words.nth can really describe wad im in now. i m jus immature for everything. things hitting me is too much. i need a rest, a long big rest. i haven start my fun life and yet im tied down. i choose this path yet im whining abt it. wads wrong with me. or isit something else going wrongly. how can i wake someone’s mind from dream, from those impossible things with wad we have currently. i have been doing things cos of him,u, he ,she. im selfish! im afraid. im scare.
i cant get my mind straight. wad do i really wan. how do i want my life to b like ?i wanna cry it loud. seriously cry it out loud. playing games every single day is jus escaping those troubles im having now. crying is e only thing im doing to cover up my miserable. i am not solving anything here. wad shld i do? teach me pls
my mind is full of nonsense now.@#$%^&*(
-huix2
isnt tt happy anymore
life has never been simple at all. Everyone has their own weakness in their own life. for mine, I can’t thanks someone gratfully cause I dunno how it jus stuck in my mouth e moment I wanna say it out. that actually able to lead to the misunderstanding of one another. is awful thou, I wish n hope I never had such problem. well as I said life is never gonna b simple at all. I really don’t wish to have anymore quarrels going on. I jus wan peacefully go thru my life but I jus don’t think that’s gonna happen at all. what do they mean by we didn’t contact them when is weekends? didn’t we look for them every weekends unless we all quarrelled? jus because of this one month of confinement and didn’t go eat with u guys and only pass one weekend after tt one month of baby.u were saying that we didn’t look for u to have dinner or lunch? isn’t is ridiculous? really hilerious. seriously, what else more could I say? u already tell someone all my negative view of yours so u want that person to also hates me? well if that is so I can’t help it den. u never ever try to really understand me, u only want and choose to know me as someone who is rude and stubborn. in life there’s lots of choices is really up to u to choose. but there are Also things that we couldn’t choose at all. our personality and behaviour. is something we born with and live with. jus like everyday having abalone for dinner suddenly u asked them to change eating beansprouts everyday. how r they gonna accept it? they have been eating that for years. and is years! personality behaviour is build up since we were in moms stomach. we can’t blame this and that because is our life and is fated for these stuff. u can choose to cover up things and not telling truth. choose to have another behaviour infront of someone else. but ended up in anyway e truth is still e truth is all what u have been acting. perm fated matters is not gonna change. if we are Ble to change personality and behaviour so easily den we don’t need any horoscope or ba zi thingy.
I’m happy for what u did for my son when is baby shower. but I know that’s for my son. and I realise that I’m not even one of u guys. u don’t treat me like one, I jus seems to b ur someone who give u someone and troubles. u don’t call me up for any dinner! never once! I don’t like to speak to u guys cause it always ended up I’m in wrong whereby actually is due to miscommunication and we doesn’t know each other behaviour attitude and thoughts. money is really important but family happiness is important too. if u still thinking that after all this I jus wanna barge in for money den so be it. I can’t get a fk abt it anymore. is no longer my concern, cos u jus like to assume and cfm it urself without finding e real truth. so what’s e point? even explaination won’t help. if that’s e case den don’t whine and kp behind my back. yes I might not b able to nice to speak to. I might have hot temper but doesn’t means that I couldn’t speak up. is jus a thing that I couldn’t control when I really say my feelings out. I prefer typing. as I won’t b so emotional when I express it out. I’m not good in speech either. I’m good in speech for sales and quarrels but not in others. I’m actually rather quiet person den a noisy y. jus that I always felt leftout and I started speaking. realizing that I’m rude cos I cut conversations. but If I never did that I’m gonna b left out for more then an hour.
wish personalitycould change. hopes are jus beyond reaching.nowadays backstabbing bad mouthing spys two sided comodo are all over e place. who shld I really trust other den my parents? I don’t wanna tell them how I feel as I don’t wan them to worry for me. is my own problem solve it myself~
I’m done with it. seriously I’m tired for all this while. who wil save me upon d hell?
-huix2
loves needed madly
nice !! my bb is out. omg. is kinda taking LONG LONG~ ~ day for him to come out. i was admitted into hospital around 7 plus 8 plus i guess. due to me having some bleeding going on. so i quickly bath and tell my mom abt it. my mom gan jiong den do things “qi cho lo geo” and called my dad quickly come back. of cos i do feel e contraction every now and den. tts was still possible to tahan. after i reach kkh they told me im only 1cm close 2cm open only. so have to stay in ward for observation. cause afraid that if midnight really pain or suddenly open up fast den can jus come back to e delivery suite.
i was super luck for that night. after im done with e admission side. they warded me into call b1 which is an private ward as there is no room for class c yet. b1 is totally awesome i swear. 4 person in one room, air-conditioned, personal tv, clean toilet and bathroom, big space in each cubic and lastly e good service they have. but den dear and parents have to be there only for a moment. like 1hr they gtg cause visiting hrs are over. so i stay there alone, watching tv. watched some 10pm chn u show. and after that i feel tense pain. i recall nurse once told me if u feel intense pain must let us know. but at that moment i dun get wad they mean by intense pain. wad is INTENsE! lols. i keep tahan e pain till really omgosh. den i call for nurse saying i feel very pain for e contraction. they brought me back to e delivery suite and rest there. nurses ask me wad kind of pain destress i want. got injection on legs, gas and also epidual. i took gas at 1st. trying to endure the pain of contraction. i wil flip and turn whenever i have contraction. i called my husband up and ask him to hurry up come down accompany me. and that was already 12 plus midnight or 1am. i was in pain, screaming everytime e contraction comes. e gas seems not much use, it jus make me feel numb but e pain i still can feel it badly. after dr came and check for how many cm has been open, she say was 5cm. den i like okok. den they ask me whether do i wan to break water bag not. i jus errr orh okok. i dont even know such stuff. y would they even ask me? weirdo
nxt thing after they see me in real pain they ask me to get epidual. see whether i want not, i keep thinking of ppl telling me try not to take if i can really take it. i jus keep having things in mind, den another contraction strikes! i jus okok inject inject epidual. i had to sit up straight and bend my body front cos they wanna inject into my spinal cord. contraction strikes here n there i keep screaming for pain, trying to calm down and let them inject finish. it was taking them SUPER LONG! after it was done i still feel e FKIN PAIN for contraction! i told them. isnt it suppose to b numb ? y still hurts so badly. i scream~~~ den they inject me external epidual. and tt slowly cools me down. -.- after that injection was done. is so much easier to do things. i could even slp. falling aslp soon.
waiting for virgina to open up to 10cm takes really long time. after water bag’s break, it took quite some time to open up to 7cm. den 8cm. den 9cm was around 8am in e morning already. doctor say will come back around 9 to check again. if is okay den will jus push for e bb to come out. den 9 plus dr came and say it wil stuck at 9cm. so they came back 1.5 hrs later. and say okay u can start pushing. but they cant feel e bb’s position, but bb seems to be in e wrong position. but they jus ask me to push, so i push for quite some time, like 2 hrs continously pushing but no progress has been made. he didnt move down at all, it was so tiring pushing and my virginal hurts thks to e STAFF NURSE there. she is worst den those midwife. she jus giao me like birds giao worms from e dirt. =.= damn fkin pain! i keep pushing den she die die also wan to put her finger in so that can help me stretch. alright! i dont mind if u wanna help me, but pls! apply some gel on so that is smoother for u to insert ur fingers ! she jus didnt apply e gel every time she ”trying to help” -.- and i was really pushing. after that she jus hop in and insert and break my momemtum and also she make it till so painful that i really wanna stop pushing. after all this pushing, dr came in insert gently and say i think is in ot or op position. meaning opposite direction or somthing, cos bb after all isnt facing e right place, and doctor cant forcept it out as his position is still high up. den they give me 15mins more see whether is it possible to push somemore out. i totally cant and is really like batt flat. i gave up after e 15mins and jus wanna go for seseran.
operation part, i went into OT and lie down there. they insert me with mass epidual so that my lower body canot feel anything much except some pushing movement. e side effect of e epidual is super strong, i shiver like no tmr and really hard to control e shivering, it makes me shiver for vrey long, till my cheek bone is tired. but when i hear bb is finally out, he was crying super loudly! kekes. den they carry him to clean up den bring it to me to let me kiss him, he was 3645g 50cm ! omgosh!! huge bb uh ~. lub him lot lot. okay, here comes e painful part. pain as in not physically. is e side effect of e epidual getting real strong, and they are really taking up the time recovering my tummy. i wait n wait n wait n wait, super slow keep shiver like no tmr. it was really very miserable there. just like a drug addict trying to say no to drugs. dunno after shivering for how long i try to slp, and when i falling aslp they wake me up again. they jus wan to make sure im alright and still responding. so they ask me to go back to slp cause e operation is gonna b done soon. after done, i was down with fever so bb also have abit of fever.so he n i both went to observation ward. i went also bcos too much blood flow out and need to observe whether is my blood level alright. and it was fine, so they send me back to ward which is aready at night 7pm. im still very drownsy at that moment of time, i guess is cause of the morphir they have given me. i kept slping n slping. nurses keep waking me up telling me and that, eat medicine, injection. changing pads. my whole body jus too heavy to really react to it. so i mainly jus mmm arr orh.
the nxt day i cant wait to see him anymore, he’s my precious ! i quickly wants e doctor to come, to remove my bandages and urine bag. so that i can move freely.! and they did it around 11 plus. so i quickly request to go down to see bb. i carried in on my arms, he jus finish drinking and also crying. so cute of him !!! ahhhhhhhh.
cute right !! so chubby so kawaii. hehes. alright post till here~ my medicine is here. later need more energy to pump milk for him. <3
<3 hubby & baby.
muacks!
-huix2
HI! at such timing im still awake. which is quite amazing. hehes. hubby isnt beside me, he went for guard duty. tired and yawning away waiting for time to pass so that i could meet him later @ 9am.
baby still active kicking lively inside my tummy. hehes. today met my ex poly friends. they treated me fish & chip @ fish market and also birthday cake! kekes. i was happy ! 
really thanks peeps.! i didnt know u guys wanted to shun bian celebrate for me too. i tot was jus for meijun. kekes anw im really glad u guys still rmb me this aunty. xP hehes.
nth really change for my bb. is still e same. now my appt is every week once, and from now on i have to go down on my own :< hubby’s has no more off or leave to take. but week 38 appt i got someone to accompany go! YEA HOORAY!! <3 lols. “u were not alone ~ ” last appt i went, i did a scan on baby! he is now 3177g !! kekes amazing ! and also amaze that i gain 20kg since i preg. COOL! lols.
hmmm waiting for e contraction to strike so that i could rush down hospital. go into delivery suite and wait for him to make me scream like no tmr. YAHOOOO!! i think i kinda bian tai. lols! nvm but is an experience that all preg woman must go thru. so its okay. no matter what still have to go thru such pain y not think it positively right? hehes. IM READY BB! R U READY?! hahahhaha. LETS jia you TGT! <3 bb boy & hubby MUACKS!
-hUiX2
Luv Hubby, Baby Boy!
just trying make some whining here. have been making lots of decision for quite some time. Im so tired of it, even today my birthday. I tot tt i could let my mind be in peace and stop making decision for once. but it didn’t happen. I still have to plan my own birthday how it shall be celebrate. ahhh! FML! y always poor and broke at wrong timing. wan go here and there must think of my finance side. no money cant go here and there. now most important is got food to eat. and Also canot eat too good de food cause no money. I’m restricted to spend too much. although I know hubby wanna spend his money on my birthday but den I know that his bills have not settle tts y he can afford to bring me out to eat nicer food. what should I really do? I cancelled the kbox celebration cause I tot only $8 per pax. but I didn’t know it went back to normal rate. because of this cancelling, a friend of my got pissed off cause she plan something nice for me but yet I seems to smash e surprise. actually wanted to make small steamboat and small gathering at my hse at least is cheaper and got food to eat. but both of my best friend were sick. they couldn’t attend at all. so what’s e point? my two good buddies were male, is kinda weird if is only me my husband and e two good buddy. my husband don’t speak much to them and also my hse is in a mess right now. so I decide to cancel everything jus stay at home and see how thing goes. maybe stay home and cook for myself. save money!
on the other hand I feel like going sakae sushi with hubby at changi airport. but den airport got no dinner buffet only supper buffet for weekends. awww that’s so sad. den I don’t know where to go for dinner. so fraustrated with everything. jus a fkin 21st birthday I alone need to think of so many stuff. aak for opinion also no use as I myself also unsure of wad I want. cool isn’t it? husband not someone who really know what is romantic so e most tmr I wil receive one sunflower from him and treat it as a surprise bahs. 没钱 also nth much can be done. he dunno wad is romantic also dunno wad is surprise de. or isit I know wad he wants to do?
started crying since today or ytd I shall say. feeling so empty so … I duno how to describe this type of feeling that I’m having. stress? fraustrated ? everytime ppl telling me this and that I feel so arghhhhhhh! ya I know I know. but words just keep repeating. and some words from some ppl jus keep appearing in my mind when I strongly dislike. I wish I could jus hear one side and out the other side. but I feel so damn bloody hard. omgosh!
I guess I can call this post as birthday whines. >.< I'm really really very xin ku. making decision sucks!
-huix2
luv hubby <3
birthday whines
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today i stop my contract with my company. baby still moving lots in my tummy but my tummy really drop alot. many ppl telling me might give birth earlier. actually they seems to be really scary. den i learn to ignore wadeva they say. some ppl who didnt even get pregnant before tell me. “eh u really will give birth early” is everytime i see her. =.= isnt it annoying. rawrr. touch wood! i wan give birth to a full term cute cute chubby baby. some ppl tell me sometime bb too big hard to give birth. but den kkh dont wan give me another scan. does it kill body cells if ultrasound too many times ?
recently dont know wads wrong with me. my mood seems weird, is kinda bored, aimless, moodless, unhappy. i seldom laugh. =\ wad is it going on? i lost e motivation to go to work everyday maybe that doesnt make me feel like going to work n push myself to work for money. =\
friendship. i always fail in that. T,T dont isit i think too much or too sensitive. shld i jus hi bye. yea mm ahh orh and pass by ? i tried controlling myself not to talk too much, not to say too much extra stuff out. helps abit i guess? sometime i feel weird. awkward.
alright. back to main topic. my feet now swollen lika OMGOSH BBQ PIG TROTTER! lols. tummy as usual big lika i pump air inside jus like those cartoon pump air till booom.! =X ahahahahaha. i still can walk fast dance shake. hehees. jus cant wait to see him in my arms >.< bb boy. mummy love u !! daddy love u too!! hehes. <3
my hubby now trying to sign on. trying very hard. i wish n hope he is able to get in. !! JIAYOU LAOGONG <3
-huix2
love e boys. <3 muacks!
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